What New Year actually means? When I was in primary or secondary school, a new year signify the start of a new school year. New class, new classmates, new teachers and new books. I would get nervous the day before a school start. Thinking how’s my classmates and teachers going to be like? Who’s going to sit around me? And excitement usually follow after that.
That was this particular year that I was especially nervous. It was during my first day in secondary 3. As the first batch of my secondary school, we were privilege to be the first wearing long pants. I was pretty self conscience of how I looked the first time in long pants. I was afraid that I might look stupid. So I met up with a few friends before entering the school, just to ensure that I looked alright. To make things even more fun, I got paranoid about whether I’m at the right stream anot. I was in science stream which is suppose to be the better one as compared to the arts. (It’s just a general perceptional that most have even though it’s not true at all!) With my grades I would never be able to make it there if not for the fact that I just passed all my arts subjects and scored well only in my maths and science.
Thinking in my mind, on the way to school.
“What if I heard wrongly that I am in a different stream on the last day of secondary 2? I have already brought my textbook. Sharks! My mum is going to kill me if she find out that I get mix up with my posting. What about the hand phone she got for me as a reward to get into science stream? I’m going to lose it. NOooooo….. “.
My fears went away the moment my new form teacher read up my name from her list. Immediately I felt a sense of relieved.
All this is in the past. Whenever I think back it’s actually fun to start a new year like this. Now as working adult, things become more predictable, or little things like the excitement from the thought of knowing or meeting new friends or classmates doesn’t excite me anymore.
I was the innocent boy that seems to be willingly to befriend any one that passes through my life, has gone. Why is it so? Why have I become so selective to who become my friend? Is it because of being hurt or disappointed too many times by people, I called friends? Or has the society taught me to be wise up and not be native in trusting people so easily? I don’t know. But what I know is the longing I have to feel the excitement of knowing new people that once as a innocent boy I used to had, back in my heart.