John Mayer – War of My Life

My favorite singer! And my favorite song from his latest album.


A walk to city hall

I was bored. So I decided to try something new with my camera. Take a walk from my office to city hall and shoot any interesting things along the way. I really hate uploading photos online so I’m just going to post my favorite photo.

I really like photo journalist so I tried to tell story with photos I took.  When I took this shot. I felt as if I’m in the old man shoes. Feeling tired and hopeless while the whole world is passing before my eyes. Last week must be the worst week of my year and the year barely just started. Gosh! I felt really lousy about myself.But still I reminded myself to be strong and that sometimes saint felt this way too.

This year will be a good year. Nothing is going to stop me. Pressing on with grit!

Where the hell is everybody?

One of the serious drawback I have since leaving army or the matter of fact any institution is that you found yourself, alone. When you are in the army or in school, you have your own circle of friends and you will stay together, have fun together. Then all of a sudden, you graduated and everyone started to have their own different life and all of a sudden you realize that you too need to move on. Obviously you won’t be able to stick together as much as before maybe unless there’s things that all of us enjoy doing together. Even that, interest will change over a period of time. I long learned to handle this kind of changes. Just that sometimes, you will very much miss the good old days of laughter, cranking each other, a heart to heart talk, or just trash talk which I’m especially good at.

Generation Y.

I’m not sure who started the generation naming idea but under my classification, I will be called the Generation Y.  This is so uncool when you compare it to the other classification. The lost Generation, Interbellum Generation, Greatest Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boom.
Okie, maybe Baby Boom is not cool too.Then comes Generation X, Y and Z. Why is it that people get so uncreative after generation x . Is it because there was no exact description that could describe our generation or people just got lazy.

PS: Okie to be fair, there were other terms for Generation Y too. The MTV Generation, the millennium Generation. But I still very much prefer something more abstract and classy like the Greatest Generation or the Lost Generation.

I know what I wrote is pretty crappy, so naturally this will be classified under crappy crap.

A 2009 recap.

Alright, doing what I have promised, to blog about my life during 2009. I started 2009 with a positive spirit. After all, I’m going to ORD in June and is looking forward to my last oversea trip to New Zealand as a NSF (National Service Full-time) and hopefully start my University studies after ORD.

Coming back from my block leave. My spirit was dampen when my OC told us that we would be having a three weeks training before heading to New Zealand.  We trained for 3 weeks before packing up our stuff. Took leave to enjoy Chinese New Year before flying off to New Zealand on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year.

Everyone was excited as this will be our last trip together and New Zealand sound pretty cool.
It was one of the best place I ever visited. One of the highlight of my 2 years in army.

Then went back to Singapore on Friday the 13, February. And celebrated Valentine day the next day. How interesting! Little did I know that my relationship with my then girlfriend would end 20 days later. We were together for 6 years. Broke up 4 years into the relationship and got back 6 months later. It wasn’t such a big blow to me as compare to the other time. I was still in army. There are friends around and stuff to do. There was little time to think about anything. In the past one and a half years, most of my time my time was spend in camp. So there wasn’t any difference in life style.

What sadden me most was not the lost of a girlfriend but a friend. My best friend. Like what she had said to me aftermath, too much time was invested in her that I failed to build other meaningful relationship with people around me. I felt lonely and thought that other than her, will there be really another person that I am able to share my feelings and ideas so freely? It was a period of struggle emotionally. Nevertheless, we knew that it was a necessary decision. We need a break through and the only way is to break up.Today, I’m really thankful for her to be the stronger one to initiate the breakup.Still I hope we can still be friends and even thought individually, live fulfill life.

With 3 more months to ORD, we were given random stuff to do as we training ended offically. Driving instructor, conducting life firing session, teaching senior commanders weapon, unpacking stuff from New Zealand.

Life was still good as compare to the first half of my unit life. Then the nightmare came when my Platoon Sergent and vehicle IC ORD. I took over both their appointment and was in charge of sending our 13 vehicles back to the workshop. The vehicles need to be wash, the track need to be change and various maintenance had to be done. It was tough job. I really want to take this opportunity to thank my fellow specialist for giving me the support and continue to work hard even though there’s really no incentive to do so. The willingness to sacrifice for one another, the willingness to help each other really touches me.

Months before I ORD, It suddenly dawned me that I might not get into University and I don’t know what to do. It was a period of uncertainty and I was fearful. With the economic crisis still recovering, unemployment rate was and is still soaring high.  I’m out of touch with what I studied. I’m not sure what is going to happen.My Saving was depleting and the last thing I want to do was to ask my parent for money.

There was this night, I decided to run from my house to lakeside lake. When I run, thousand of thoughts will run in my mind too. I was thinking about my application to the University. I was worried and was thinking of a back up plan, in the case that I couldn’t get in to university. A small still voice calm my heart, and I could heard it clearly saying. Don’t worried about University. Get a job and learn. I felt a atmosphere of peace as I sat down admiring the magnificent lake.

True enough, I was rejected by the University. Knowing that the next thing,  I needed to do is to look for a job. Not just any job but one that allows me to learn.Interested in finance, I applied for a couple of  financial job but it turn out to be all from insurance agency. A game development project officer at NTU and lastly an intern artist job from a newly start-up animation studio. I was confident that I can get the game development job with my experience in game development. But decided to keep myself open by going for another interview which I’m not particular keen about. An intern artist.

To my surprise they already got the intern artist job filled and was looking for a producer. Seeing that I have some management experience with the army, they thought that I might be a good fit. I met my boss and immediately we clicked.

I decided to pick up the producer job knowing that one day I might start a company.It was be good to find out how a start-up run. Being in a small company open endless opportunity for me. I was able to see things for a higher perspective. I will never be able to do that with my ability and qualification in a bigger setting. And the best part of my job is that I am able to represent my company for various industry meeting. The opportunity to meet and talk to various director and CEO of various technology company open up my perspective on various issues.

So I want to thanks you boss for the trust and opportunity you have in me. I learned so much from you! I also want to thank my developer! You have taught me so much. Just being in your thought process amazed me so much. Also thanks for your patient in answering all my questions and sharing with me all the stuff. Now you are back in Swiss, I’m so going to miss you and your brain.

Lastly I want to thank my family. Knowing that there will always be a shelter called home during the storms in my life.

And the most importantly God, for His grace and faithfulness!

2010 will be more intertesing! So wait for my next report at 2011!

Happy New Year!

Happy 2010! A start of a new year. A start of a new decade. The last ten years was pretty interesting. Last year was interesting too. I mention in my last post that I had a chat with the ex. One of the thing that she mention to me was that I’m not being myself. I was trying to be somebody that i wasn’t that she prefer the me when I was in Secondary.( Yes I know, we were together that long.) Native and innocent. (I don’t want to continue to be neither native nor innocent.But I’m still a person who is pure at heart. At least that is what I hope.)

I reflected upon the statement and think that it is true to a certain extend.It could be due to insecurity, maybe I was afraid to lose her and thought that I am not good enough. Or it could be me trying to find an identity. Question like who am I? What am I dentine to do?

Anyway, the break was good in particular to this issue as I need to break always from holding to the bondage of people perception of who I am.

I don’t want to get into the business of caring about what people think of me. And if I need to change for the better, I will.

Anyway, people, please comment! Who you are so that I have a better idea who are my readers. You are very privilege to be able to read my life most inner thought. This blog is not publish anywhere else. Maybe only at a few friends’ blogs that once a upon time, I gave the URL to them. And again, Happy New Year!