Death as a concept

Steve Jobs most famous speech was one that he made at the 2005 Stanford University commencement. He briefly talked about three stories of his life and the last one is about death.

” When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

I never experience death or even near death experience before. But recently I experience the death of my cousin. It is the first time I saw someone not just dear but a human being died in front of me. I started to question myself, what if I am in his shoes? Have I really live out what I am purpose to do? What is the legacy that I left behind? Sadly the answer to all these questions is No, I have not lived out my purpose, I didn’t left any legacy behind. I told myself then, I got to do something with my life. I have to have a eternal view of who I am and what I am purpose to do.

My cousin died shortly before his 32 birthday. He left life with many regrets. Because of that I decided to that I need to make changes in my life. I once saw this quote that a little change make a big difference. I started to make little change in my life. and I know that as long as I don’t stop, one day when I die, I can proudly say that I live my life to the fullest.

Go Deeper

One thing that I have learnt is to go deeper instead of wider. Not to have a lot of friends but go deeper in every friendship. Not to try to know everything on the surface but to know the tiniest details in one thing. Not to do everything in a mediocre way but one thing with excellence.

11-17 June 2012

This week went pass like any other week fast. I been trying to wake up early the first two days was alright but by the start of the third day I am out of steam. I think I still need some time to get use to it and instead of sleeping 5 hours daily, I think I might need more. SO this week I am pushing for 6 hours,

This week hasn’t been as productive as I would want it to be. I read about an article and decided I will stick to 2-3 core activities every day which will lead me closer to my dreams.

As for my fitness, I am eating healthy most of the days but couldn’t keep out with the daily exercise routine. My weight has been shifting around from 74.1 to 75kg. I hope that by the end of June I will drop it at least at 73kg. Next few weeks will be tough due to deadlines and exams so I will be pushing myself.

I have been asking myself questions and one of it is that I actually do miss design. After so many years, seeing or coming out with a good design is sometime that motivate and drives me. I hope that I will continue to work on design regardless of the outcome.

Links of The Week

Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Appetite for Risk
The Emotional Adventure of Leadership
Be Proud of Your Accomplishments, Not Your Affiliations
Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning

Second Half

So far so good! After I have decided to eat healthy and work out regularly I realized that i am less tired and able to focus better. I have also loss 1Kg since two weeks ago. I intent to loss 2kg every month till the end of the end, which means bringing me from 75kg to 65kg. I am not sure if this is possible as my lowest weight since secondary school was 67kg. That was when I was in my Basic Military Training 5 years ago.

I have also decided to sleep early and wake up earlier. I will try to sleep by 1130pm and wake up at 4:55am. I have tried to attempt this many times but failed. hopefully this time round I will be able to make it a habit.

Hopefully I am able to finish up more work in the day and free up more time for other stuff at night.

Living Healthier!

I have decided to start on a campaign to eat healthier for the rest of 2012.  I realized that recently I get tired easily and always low on energy. As a result I couldn’t really focus and always felt sleepy. As a result I am unproductive in my work and always rely on “drugs (caffeine)” especially  during crunch time. I started to question myself on why. Why do I get so tired easily? After reading up and surfing the net, i concluded that it is because of the “bad” food and the lack of exercise. I read up some where, when someone asked Richard Branson on how can he do some much? ( He started almost 400 companies if I ma not wrong. ) His simple answer? Work out! I mean, if someone who is twice the age of me and operating 400 business and still work up, what excuse can I really give myself right? Furthermore, I was not having the right mentality of working out. All these while I thought that working up will take up my time but the truth can never be further than that. My research shows that working out actually improve your productivity and allowed you to focus on your work for a long period. Also if you feel good about yourself, you are more confident in yourself. This confident brings forward to other aspect of your life.

I am also committed to eating healthier. Instead of buying from the hawker I will try to bring more homemade sandwiches for lunch. Less Oil and more vegetables! Through my research, I also understand the value of eating complex foods, like wholemeal, which is harder to break down thus giving you energy throughout the day instead of release it all at a shot to your body.

I am not trying to slim down or lose weight even though that will be good. Instead I am building up a lifestyle that allows my body to work at its greatest level so that I can carry out the many things I dream of doing. 6 Months! Hopefully at the end of the year I will give a good report!

(P.S When I write this, I have been working out almost everyday for two weeks and eating healthier for 2 weeks. Even though I have not lost any weight, I am feeling much better. I feel much energetic and able to work longer hours in the past week. My goal is to shred away my stomach fats, I always hate the lump of fats around my waist, I find it very disturbing when I cannot fit in my jeans. )